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Not Your Regular Tour Guide

If you want to get somewhere in the shortest possible time, don’t follow me. I have major problems with maps and follow my intuition instead. I guess my intuition is a little off kilter because I will lead you someplace exciting just not where you originally intended to go.

My first time being a tour guide in Paris is a great example. I was on vacation with my sister and niece. About five minutes away from our apartment was a famous church called Saint-Sulpice.* About one hour later, we ended up at the Louvre and at one of my favorite spots, Angelina’s Tea-House.

Later in the week, after a wonderful wine and cheese tasting class, we were headed to the Palais Royal. This is a huge palace and we were just blocks away. Did we find it? No, but we did find the Opera de Paris.

Also “close” to our apartment was the Latin Quarter. The Latin Quarter is a very lively place to dine in the evening. People are pouring out of sidewalk cafes, music is playing and in general, it is a happening place. The three of us went to the Latin Quarter for dinner several nights that week. I had to admit it was a little quieter than I remembered on trips with my husband. But nonetheless, we had some great meals there.

Several days later we met up with my husband and daughter. Of course, my husband wanted to have dinner in the Latin Quarter. Ah ha, I knew exactly where it was. “Follow me honey”…my famous last words. When we got to the Latin Quarter, he started laughing and said “This is not the Latin Quarter.” With all the dignity I could muster I replied: “This is MY Latin Quarter.” Three blocks away was the real one.

*You may recognize this church from Dan Brown’s The Da Vinci Code.

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More Mish Mosh…

If you like lists, and want to send me one go get creative!

Ten Things They don’t Tell You about Getting Old
1. Chin Hair. At first you aren’t sure what that bristle-like thing is. You look in the rear view mirror and nearly cause an accident. You have a long chin hair. You are becoming a witch.
2. Crying at Commercials. Thankfully I tape most of my shows. Anything with a patriotic theme, cute kids or old people in it makes me weep. I guess when you are done working for Hallmark you write TV commercials.
3. Fiber. You care about it. Enough said.
4. Shrinkage. Each year when I try on my summer clothes, they seem smaller. It must be some construction defect in my closet.
5. Hot Tea or Cold Wine. This is actually a decision to make. Sometimes tea wins.
6. Genetics. If you live long enough, at least one close relative is crazy, an alcoholic or been arrested. Sometimes it is the same relative.
7. Vanilla Ice or Quiet. The middle ground is getting smaller. It’s either Ice Ice Baby at the top of your lungs or complete silence.
8. Friends with Sons. You can’t help yourself. You ask your friends with sons if they’ve taught them how to cook, clean the bathroom and do their laundry. You hope for equality for your daughter in the next generation.
9. Naps. Whether it is 15 minutes or 2 hours, it is an unexpected gift when you can have one. Hey, I can use one of my new words here – lagniappe.
10. Patience. This is one of the nicest parts about getting old. You have time to listen to other people.

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What is Mish Mosh?

Mish Mosh is my place for lists. Unlike David Letterman, who saves his best for last, I meander around.

How to Tell if You’ve Had a Great Vacation

1. On your first day back to work you can’t help but notice that your office building looks like a prison (all that cement, windows that don’t open, guards at doors)

2. When you put your lanyard around your neck, you get a flash of a noose hanging at a gallows.

3. You sit in your car for a long time. You only get out because you know a security camera is focused on your car.

4. You walk the halls telling your vacation stories to co-workers (even to ones you don’t like).

5. When they get sick of you, you start making lunch plans with vendors.

6. You download all your vacation photos into a slide show on your computer (and get startled again and again when your reverie is interrupted).

7. Your tour books are still in your purse.

8. You keep listening to the bagpipe CD in your car (no one will drive with you anymore).

9. You start planning your next vacation, even though you used up two year’s worth of vacation on your last trip.

10. You dream that Elizabeth Gilbert’s publisher will call you to fund a year of travel so you can write your own version of EAT, PRAY, LOVE.